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Dear Amber, Im 22 now and still had no period! My god it's killing me, im the size of a house, have been for 12 months now and still no baby. My cock, well don't even start me on that, it's about the size of a lighter, you know those small clippers you can get? the inside bit you stuff your rollie with? yeah that's about the size of it, who wants that? My shower's been broken for 3 months now and i only go to the gym twice a week for a sauna, so don't shower much either! Plus the last time I went on a date it was a disaster, much worse than any hurricane, I had terrible wind, and drunk? my god was I drunk, tried calling him the next day and there was no reply, why are men like that, been trying to date for about 3 years now and still no luck. What am I doing wrong? Can you help me find Mr. Right please? Love ya x x Owain 22 |
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Dear Owain, I'm a drag queen not a miracle worker. Lets see if we can't go through each problem one by one. Firstly you no period, no baby but you do have a cock (albeit the size of a chickpea apparently). So i'll assume you're male. As for not showering, ur rank m'dear, no one likes to sniff last weeks perfume. My advice would be, ditch the food take a LONG bath and try ya luck. Hmmm fat, small penis, doesn't wash and can't get a date - you remind me of someone I used to know. Good luck fattie AD |
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My name is Amber to and I Love you. Amber Bell |
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Dear Ms Bell, So you should, I'm amazing. AD |
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Hey Amber I see you seem to get a lot of questions from would be drags queens. I myself am just about to start in the business off show as a, for want of a better word drag, I know I can do it, any advice, what i really want know are there any dont's, you know like don't do that number cox so and so does. love, dan xx Danny |
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Dear Dan Oh goody, just what I need, more competition. As for do's and don'ts :- DO Get a decent act, a frock and a wig does not make a drag queen DO Practice ... a lot As for don'ts :- DON'T Wear white shoes after labour day DON'T Expect it to be easy Good luck xxx AD |
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Hi Amber This is rather stalker-ish but I just wanted to tell you that in drag you gorgeous and an amazing performer! but out of drag your HOT SEX in jeans! your soooo hot, i want u! i have seen your facebook pics and o m g i dont understand why your single! are the men of this world mad!!!!! Big Hugs xxx Sam |
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Dear Sam I'm hoping that Sam isn't short for Samantha and you're not some big spiky haired lesbian in a HGV licence. Anyway bless you my lovely for those kind words. Everything you said is true plus I make the meanest pot noodle this side of the Severn bridge. love AD |
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Hi Amber There's this boy I like and he asked me out but my friend likes him too, should I say yes or no? Amber Jo |
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What a fabulous name, very mid western council estate. Well it's always a sensitive area this, firstly, how much do you like him and how much do you like your friend? If I were you I would tell your friend he's asked you out. They say honestly is the best policy, however i've been lying through my teeth for several years now so what do I know. love AD |
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Hi Amber Dear amber I wont to become a drag queen, how do I come abelt it, can u give me any advice in what to do I dont wont to be the tipe that wear lots of glitter I wont a new style love ya xx Gareth |
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Dear Gareth, Firstly, do you not have spell check on your computer. Reading your message was like deciphering the Da Vinci code. As for finding your own style, I agree, lots of Glitter is not the way to go. I find the Dr Bev look only works for a select few. My advice is ... don't do it. Get a nice 9 to 5 job with sickness and holiday pay and a good pension plan.... maybe insurance, now that's living life on the edge. AD x |
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